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Baz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11/January/2018 at 20:54
Finally the school are being pro-active in doing something for the boy...they've offered us a chance for him to do Dramatherapy. Wonder if he'll do it.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/February/2018 at 21:20
Need to rant.....

I'm am really close to shutting down. The boy who is now 10 has turned into a violently aggressive swine. At least once a day he attacks me and ends up doing at least one of the following to me:

Biting, kicking, punching, headbutting, spitting, pitching, throwing things, licking.

On top of that he continues to threat to go into school to tell them i'm hurting him so the police can come and take me away (I got removed from home before as he accused me of dragging him up the stairs by his ears...all allegations were found false of course) and he doesn't care if he does it.

All professionals previously involved (CAMHS, Social Service, Outreach and Family Focus) have closed as they deem there's nothing they can do. Could go through the process of CAMHS again to see if they'll medicate him but that's a long arse wait, so i'm really not sure what the hell we  can do now.

I am getting to the stage where my health, both emotional and physical, is starting to suffer with this daily bullshit. I go to work for a break and that's saying something. Plus I have no way of getting out of the routine due to the girls activities so in order for me to have time away from him, they need to miss out on something, which isn't fair...and no we have nobody who will willingly have the boy for us to have a break.

I am really close to a total breakdown, I can feel it all coming, and that won't be good for me or my family. Something has to give and something has to change but i'm just not sure what, I can see no way out of this situation unless it involves me walking out and not coming back for a few days.

Rant over.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote admin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/February/2018 at 22:12
Originally posted by Baz Baz wrote:

Need to rant.....

I'm am really close to shutting down. The boy who is now 10 has turned into a violently aggressive swine. At least once a day he attacks me and ends up doing at least one of the following to me:

Biting, kicking, punching, headbutting, spitting, pitching, throwing things, licking.

On top of that he continues to threat to go into school to tell them i'm hurting him so the police can come and take me away (I got removed from home before as he accused me of dragging him up the stairs by his ears...all allegations were found false of course) and he doesn't care if he does it.

All professionals previously involved (CAMHS, Social Service, Outreach and Family Focus) have closed as they deem there's nothing they can do. Could go through the process of CAMHS again to see if they'll medicate him but that's a long arse wait, so i'm really not sure what the hell we  can do now.

I am getting to the stage where my health, both emotional and physical, is starting to suffer with this daily bullshit. I go to work for a break and that's saying something. Plus I have no way of getting out of the routine due to the girls activities so in order for me to have time away from him, they need to miss out on something, which isn't fair...and no we have nobody who will willingly have the boy for us to have a break.

I am really close to a total breakdown, I can feel it all coming, and that won't be good for me or my family. Something has to give and something has to change but i'm just not sure what, I can see no way out of this situation unless it involves me walking out and not coming back for a few days.

Rant over.

Baz mate, I am sorry that you have to go through all that. How is the mrs coping compared to yourself? Remember your loved ones such as your lady and the kids. Easy for me to say, but try and not let one bad situation cloud all the good things. Have you spoke to a doctor recently about him? But then they would bring up more medication and in a ideal world someone wouldn't need to take a drug to behave a certain way.

Have a word with his teacher and see who she can put you into contact with. I'm sure there will be other organisations out there that can help you out. It's disgusting that places have quit trying to help you. The refuge of TUP is always here for you, you know that. If I was in your situation I would probably enhance the bad to the so called experts so they feel like they should help even more.

Your situation is bad, but i'd turn it up notch so his behaviour sounds even worse. For example if he bites you daily I would tell them he bites a couple of times a day. If he sleeps for X amount of hours, thus ruining your own sleeping pattern I would decrease it by an hour. Whilst proud of the NHS, it isn't in a great state with all the government cuts, so getting the required help is harder than it's probably ever been due to resources. So many people no doubt lay it on thicker, in the hope of being helped/seen sooner.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/February/2018 at 22:21
His school are useless when it comes to these kind of things to be honest haha. It's really one of those "Well it doesn't happen in school so we won't do anything about it" kind of things with them, the headmaster really is a tool.

It's a waste of time going to the GP as they just say it's a "phase" and it's down to his "adhd" like they put everything else down to.

My only real hope at the moment is that we have a local "Autism" expert at the council who is going to see us soon to see what she can suggest.

For the record I've got a log of all the incidents, and photo's where he's left marks and bruises for if anyone doubts the crap he comes out with haha.

As for the wife, he doesn't go for her, it's just me he attacks. I suppose it's a good thing he doesn't really try it with the girls (The last time he did he got put on his arse) as i've drummed it into him it's one thing attacking me, it's totally different attacking women.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote admin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18/February/2018 at 22:46
Originally posted by Baz Baz wrote:

His school are useless when it comes to these kind of things to be honest haha. It's really one of those "Well it doesn't happen in school so we won't do anything about it" kind of things with them, the headmaster really is a tool.

It's a waste of time going to the GP as they just say it's a "phase" and it's down to his "adhd" like they put everything else down to.

My only real hope at the moment is that we have a local "Autism" expert at the council who is going to see us soon to see what she can suggest.

For the record I've got a log of all the incidents, and photo's where he's left marks and bruises for if anyone doubts the crap he comes out with haha.

As for the wife, he doesn't go for her, it's just me he attacks. I suppose it's a good thing he doesn't really try it with the girls (The last time he did he got put on his arse) as i've drummed it into him it's one thing attacking me, it's totally different attacking women.

Two of my nephews are autistic. My sister and brother in law are incredible at putting up with stuff that would break me. If he gets diagnosed with it then you will get help until 18 when the government class him as a adult and cut back on care and funding, when the same issues are still around.

You will notice the signs with him if that's what you think it could be. Not just behaviour but other stuff such as no thought process so brutually honest, like their own company, don't always feel pain (depending on how severe) and being set in their ways with their own routine.

I imagine if he's used to doing the same things, at the same time, every day and you try something out of his usual routine he might kick off. Honesty can be embarassing such as asking why someone is fat or has a mole on their face or simply asking for a pound being cheeky. Own company is a big thing, not liking being around big groups of people as it can make them uneasy.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Baz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19/February/2018 at 07:23
He has high functioning autism Adders, so whilst it's very mild compared to others it's the same nonetheless. We got care rate DLA which gets reviewed every 3 years for some random reason haha.

We can handle the routine stuff (It's as rigid as possible) and we can handle the meltdowns etc it's just this violence is getting ridiculous. He did try it with the eldest (She's almost 12) and she knocked him flat on his arse so he hasn't tried it since.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote L-shizzel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19/February/2018 at 20:18
Baz as someone who's on the spectrum himself all I can say is hang in there as the boy gets older he should become less violent I'm just basing that on prior experience of myself and others.

As Andrew said we're here for you if you need to talk.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote #Heel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 19/February/2018 at 22:12
I'm not even going to pretend to understand what you are going through

All i can say is that im a good listener so if you ever want to chat let me know - doesnt even have to be on here - message me on FB, twitter or ill even give you my mobile number.

I'm not being patronising or anything neither i would just hate for you to get so pent up that you break down and it may be easier to talk to some random geordie over the internet who isnt going to judge

Chin up mate
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote John The Baptist Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/April/2018 at 09:29
I'm 30 years old and yesterday split up with my long term girlfriend who I had a comfortable life and beautiful house with to pursue a workmate whos a bit unhinged mentally.

Honestly I couldn't feel more depressed if I tried. Got no idea what I'm doing at the moment.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote admin Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02/April/2018 at 11:12
Originally posted by John The Baptist John The Baptist wrote:

I'm 30 years old and yesterday split up with my long term girlfriend who I had a comfortable life and beautiful house with to pursue a workmate whos a bit unhinged mentally.

Honestly I couldn't feel more depressed if I tried. Got no idea what I'm doing at the moment.

Dunno if I am reading right. You left your girlfriend or she left you for someone unhinged?

I was reading it as if you'd finished her, but if that's true I don't get why you'd be depressed about your choice.

We are all here for you man.
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