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Mark Henry In WWE

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    Posted: 07/August/2006 at 21:11
If you like Mark Henry please read no further, because this will only piss you off.
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I HATE MARK HENRY. THE JACK ASS CAN'T WRESTLE AND HE HAS TO BIG OF A FUCKING EGO TO SELL OTHER WRESTLER'S MOVES SO THE EVERY PART OF ANY MATCH HE'S IN IS TOTALLY SHITTY. HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE IN ANY MAIN EVENT OR ANY MATCH WHERE ANYONE WORTHY OF BEING IN A MAIN EVENT IS REMOTELY INVOLVED.

I'M TIRED OF HIS INTERVIEWS WHERE HE GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HE'S BIG AND THAT MAKES HIM GREAT. FIRST HE'S NOT BIG, HE'S FAT AND SECOND IF HE'S SO GREAT WHY HAS BE SPENT SO MUCH TIME IN OVW.

I WISH HE'D GET LOOKED IN A ROOM WHERE HE WAS FORCED TO WATCH VIDEOS OF HIS OWN TERRIBLE MATCHES AND INTERVIEW OVER AND OVER AND OVER.

I HATE HOW HE COMES TO RINGSIDE IN A SINGLET. I HATE HOW HE HAS MAN BOOBS THAT GO ALL THE WAY AROUND HIS BACK. I HATE HOW THEY CALL HIM THE "WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN". HE WAS IN THE OLYMPICS, BUT THAT WAS OVER TEN YEARS AGO AND HE DIDN'T COME HOME WITH ANY GOLD SILVER OR BONZE. I HATE HOW HE HAS NASTY LONG HAIR AND A DREAD LOCKED BEARD/MUSTACHE. THEY'RE NOTHING WRONG WITH LONG HAIR, BUT IF YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO KEEP IT CLEAN IT NEEDS TO GO.

MARK HENRY NEEDS TO GET A FREAKING CLUE. HE'S BEEN IN WRESTLING FOR OVER TEN YEARS AND THE BEST STORYLINE HE WAS EVER IN WAS ABOUT HIM BONING A HIDEOUS EIGHTY YEAR OLD WOMAN.

VISCERA IS OVER WEIGHT, BUT AT LEAST HE DON'T THINK EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE IS DUMB ENOUGH TO MISTAKE HIS FLAB FOR MUSCLE. AT LEAST VISCERA IS WILLING TO SELL HIS OPPONENT'S MOVES. AT LEAST VISCERA CAN GO A WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT GETTING SOMEONE HURT.

I WISH THEY WOULDN'T ANNOUNCE HIM AS BEING FROM TEXAS, THAT MAKES MY HOME STATE LOOK BAD. I CAN'T EVEN CALL THAT PATHETIC SON OF A BITCH A HAS BEEN BECAUSE HE NEVER WAS.

IF ALL THAT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH HE'S ALWAYS GETTING TALENT WRESTLERS LIKE BATISTA AND THE UNDERTAKER HURT. I'M JUST GLAD THAT HE PUT HIMSELF OUT OF COMMISION FOR A WHILE. I ONLY HOPE HE RETIRES AFTER THIS OR GOES BACK TO OVW WHERE I DON'T HAVE TO SEE HIM.

Edited by The SteelDragon - 10/August/2006 at 14:44
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shooter420 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07/August/2006 at 21:26
Originally posted by The SteelDragon The SteelDragon wrote:



I'M TIRED OF HIS INTERVIEWS WHERE HE GOES ON AND ON ABOUT HOW HE'S BIG THAT MAKES HIM GREAT. FIRST HE'S NOT BIG, HE'S FAT
 
That was by far my favorite part of this rant I can't stop laughing.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ecwrules Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 01:09
i totallly agree with you on every thing you said about him and i loved how you said he is fat which is true.
ECW will spill edges blood at ons2

ive got two words for you suck it
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NW-Punk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 07:02
You have failed to mention his "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick a while back. He wasn't sexy. he was a big, fat, black man who couldn't dance and had such a small penis that he could only get Mae Young to sleep with him and she a gave birth to a baby...... hand.  
 
I hope that one day Mark Henry can't take the elevator and has to actually walk down the stairs to get to his destination. I hope while he is walking on these stairs, he breaks a step and falls all the way down the flight of stairs. I hope he also rolls over all the bad talent in the WWE and kills them aswell. I hope he just keeps falling and falling until he runs his fat ass through a brick wall and then runs over Vince McMahon's limo like a damned monster truck. Maybe that will wake Vince up.... or kill him. Either one is ok with me.


Edited by NW-Punk - 08/August/2006 at 07:03
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Originally posted by NW-Punk NW-Punk wrote:

You have failed to mention his "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick a while back. He wasn't sexy. he was a big, fat, black man who couldn't dance and had such a small penis that he could only get Mae Young to sleep with him and she a gave birth to a baby...... hand.  


You're right.
I don't know why they called that son of a bitch Sexual Chocolate. The only chocolate he resembles is chocolate that's been left out in the sun too long. Maybe its because he is addicted to chocolate and that's why he's so damn fat. I don't really have anything against fat wrestlers, but when they try to make everyone think its muscle it pisses me off. Like all the fans are too damn stupid to tell the difference between pecks and man boobs. I already went off on Mae Young a little, but its something that she faked a pregnancy to get out of nailing Mark for nine month. That probably wasn't the only thing she faked....

Edited by The SteelDragon - 10/August/2006 at 14:46
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NW-Punk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 13:16
Originally posted by The SteelDragon The SteelDragon wrote:

Originally posted by NW-Punk NW-Punk wrote:

You have failed to mention his "Sexual Chocolate" gimmick a while back. He wasn't sexy. he was a big, fat, black man who couldn't dance and had such a small penis that he could only get Mae Young to sleep with him and she a gave birth to a baby...... hand.  


You're right.
I don't know why they called that son of a bitch Sexual Chocolate. The only chocolate he resembles is chocolate that's been left out in the sun too long. Maybe its because he is addicted to chocolate and that's why he's so damn fat. I don't really have anything against fat wrestlers, but when they try to make everyone think its muscle it pisses me off. Like all the fans are too damn stupid to tell the difference between pecks and man boobs. I already went off on Mae Young a little, but its something that she faked a pregnancy to get out of nail Mark for nine month. That probably wasn't the only thing she faked....
 
He also resembles either a pile of dog crap. WHO DISAGREES?!
 
I agree with you about how big wrestler pretend that their fat is actually muscle, it's just dumb. You might aswell either get rid of the weight, gain some actual muscle, or just admit that you have man titties. It's as simple as that. Heck, even Samoa joe as admittted that he is fat and he is smaller than Mark Henry.
 
Anyways, I'm going to boycott Mark Henry if he doesn't die of heart failure within the next 2 weeks.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Big Sixx Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 20:33
I actually was a fan of Mark Henry in the 98-99 era. After the Mae Young storyline, he freaked me out. I wish Batista will get the chance to beat the crap out of him when he recovers.    
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NW-Punk Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 20:50
No, fuck Batista.
I want a chance at Mark Henry.
Jimmy "I Love My Penis" Punk (me) and The SteelDragon w/ Big Sixx vs Mark Henry in a 2v1 Texas Death Match (The ropes are replaced with barbed wire. On two of the rings sides will hang various weapons and light bulbs from the barbed wire).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shooter420 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 21:00
Make sure you hit him in the nuts with a flaming barbed wire baseball bat for me will ya?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Akira Xtreme V1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08/August/2006 at 22:20
oh come on don't be mean.... "the guy can wrestle well" a kid told me this i almost fell of from my chair laughing hahaha!
 
but now seriously... i hate that guy.. he sucks and he's not he world strongest man (if i was the world strongest my i would put a law case on him) and he goes against everything the word "wrestling" stands for!


Edited by Akira Xtreme V1 - 08/August/2006 at 22:20


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